Reinventing myself in mid-life. . .

Researchers tell us that this is what we do; we reinvent ourselves because naturally life changes after mid-life. Not only do we get old, but we loose roles we’ve had for a long time (Mom or Dad) and gain new ones we may or may not be prepared for (Mother-in-law, Grandmother).

Some of us do this very well and a great deal of interest (along with several articles) is emerging about how we “boomers” will reinvent not only ourselves but the meaning of retirement.

In my case, I will strive to be as creative as possible, but I have a sense that the economic realities of life will play a much greater part in the direction I take than will my sense of adventure, freedom or wanderlust.

So far, I’ve been going about my reinvention in a very pragmatic way.

• I came back to pediatrics (where I really have not practiced in over 25 years). This returning to my practice “roots” is not something I ever intended to do but the opportunity that presented itself was too good to resist.
• I went back to school. Learning has been a life-long endeavor and something I truly love. That said learning in mid-life and in a new century is not so easy. I am surrounded by fellow students who are far more energetic who and have well honed skills for the technological demands of higher education today! I alas, do not.
• I married (again), something I thought I would never do. But his son was about to have a son and I simply didn’t want to be known as “Grandpa’s squeeze” – I wanted the title, Grandma.
• I bought a new house! Something I have not done in nearly 30 years. I’ve lived in all kinds of homes but I wanted a new house and in mid-life I found one, customized just for me. I expect I will be there for quite a while!
• I consolidated my retirement monies and now only have two main financial repositories for my IRAs and my 401 K. Naturally, when you’re as old as I am there are bound to be little bits of money here and there (I think I have a pension with about $200 in it!), but now, two phone calls or a visit to two websites and I know where I stand (or perhaps, fall).
• I started to write. Not that I have not always had a love for words and some hopes about writing, but now I set aside time to do it. I go to classes and discussion groups to improve my writing. I look for opportunities to have my work critiqued.

However, I know I’m not done. There are things I need to do that I haven’t gotten to yet. Certainly, a portion of that is procrastination. Another portion is surely a choice about where I will spend my time and with whom.

So what’s left? These things for sure:

• I must commit to regular exercise. I need both strength training and cardio if I am to head into old age with a sense of wellness and wellbeing.
• I must de-clutter. Everywhere I turn I see the burden of postponed decisions – debris in every corner of my life and space. It is time to really clean house (physically and metaphorically).
• I must live consciously. I have no more time for the anesthesia of hurry and over-booking. I want no more running from hither to yon, I want to walk, listen to the breeze in the trees, smell the flowers, and hear the birds. I want to revel in the richness of life and relationships, not merely rush on by. I want to enjoy the journey – whether I get to the destination or not!

So, that’s enough. I think if I live long enough to do all that, I’ll be able to sit down and craft a new list. I can’t imaging running out of “things to do” but I want very much to make my focus not just what I do, but who I am being and becoming for this second half of life!

When did I first know I was a Democrat?

The other day, a comentator on Public Radio asked a group attending the Democratic National Convention, “when did you first know you were a democrat?” and the question got me thinking, when did I first know I was a democrat?

I hate now, to admit that I voted Republican as many times as I did, but my excuse is that I was raised in a Republican home, and until I was about 30, I didn’t understand much about politics. My parents were very involved in politics when I was very small. I actually remember Eisenhower’s second run for office in 1956 and I was only four at the time. We had a TV and it was on every day from dawn until late into the night if the campaign was being televised.

My father worked as a lobbyist for the Pennsylvania Tavern Association and as a result he knew his way around state politics. I remember events at pubs and corner bars when I was very young where my parents were working to get someone elected to some local post. For me, it was always a chance to hear the music, dance, throw confetti and drink those “kid cocktails” that the bartender would keep handing to me. It was exciting and fun and I was part of the action – even if I didn’t know what all the action was about.

In my early voting years, I think I must have voted for the names I knew and, I confess, I knew more about the Republican names than the Democratic names. I even voted for Regan, probably twice, and that would have been what, 1980 and 1984? This was probaby where my disillusionment hit me. I was working with the AIDS community at the time (1986 through 1992) and I realized that we had a president who not only couldn’t deal with the healthcare crisis of the day, he couldn’t even say the word AIDS. It was as though, if he didn’t acknowledge it, it didn’t exist. As a result, neither did any significant funding.

So, that’s when I knew I had to be a democrat. Clinton made that easy – he was young and charismatic. Gore made it logical, after all, he’d served with Clinton. Kerry was harder to vote for – so I voted against Bush. And in this year’s election, I admit, I was a Clinton advocate, but I can and will vote for Obama.

A word about wishing, wanting and hoping for Hillary… I doubt that in my lifetime there will be another woman candidate as gutsy as Hillary. She can stand up to the boys, she can even stand up to Bill, and that’s saying something! She made her marriage stick (something I couldn’t do in my first marriage) against enormous odds and horrible public commentary. She raised an amazing daughter (remember those early pictures of Chelsea?) who has grown to be beautiful, focused and ready to take on her own world. I may not always like Hillary, but I admire her and would have happily voted for her to be our president.

Oh well, water under the bridge. Let’s consider Barack Obama…

First, he was born in Honolulu, Hawaii – right away, he gets extra points for that! He’s 9 years younger than I, but that’s good. He’ll be 47 when elected and 55 when he leaves office (surely we’ll give him two terms) which is very young, and if he’s even half as charasmatic as Bill Cliniton, he’ll be headed for important work even as a “former president.”

Also, he’s the product of a single-parent home. Well, Clinton was too, so he’s not the first, but I like the idea that women can produce a presidential offece-worthy son even when up against the hardships of doing it alone. Perhaps it will make us take a longer, national look at the plight of the single mother and the (way too) many fatherless sons in our communities!

His mom, Ann Dunham, a White American from Kansas, died in 1995 of ovarian cancer. She was 52. That also endeared this man to me. Having worked for the Women’s Cancer Center at the Univerisity of Minnesota, I know this disease (ovarian cancer is the most covert of killers). Perhpaps this will also focus Obama’s attention on women’s cancer and add to the NIH’s coffers for the research on these diseases.

Barack Obama went to Occidental College, one of the oldest liberal arts colleges on the West Coast, kown for its academic rigor and its diverse student body; to Columbia University in New York where he emerged with a B.A. in political science with a focus in international relations; and to Yale University where he studied law. I like a man of letters. I also appreciate that he has put his education to good use, doing good work for people far less fortunate than he.

Has he made some mis-steps? Sure, but when I think of my own mistakes, I know it is good I will never run for office – the scrutiny of our candidates’ early choices is merciless, and done by pundits who, if their own histories were explored would be embarassed beyond belief, I’m sure!

Okay, enough soap-boxing for this morning.
Am I voting democratic? You bet.
Do I hope Barack is smart enough to put Hillary in a cabinet position that permits her to use her talents nationally and not just for New York? Yes, I do.
Will I be working locally to get him elected.? I will.
What will you be doing this fall?